Twelve easy steps to getting fat

1. Become a student (better in a high-ranked university, where they actually want you to study).
2. Try to study as little as possible during the semester and wait for the exam period.
3. Lock yourself in your room and start studying.
4. Alternate studying with eating - you have to make breaks, right?
5. Reward yourself with sweets for studying good.
6. Eat some sweets to comfort yourself if studying is not going well.
7. Sleep less so that you can study more.. and compensate for the lacking energy with excessive amounts of food.
8. Drink some beers (alone, of course, you're supposed to be in your room, studying).
9. Don't exercise - you don't have time for that
10. Don't cook - the faster your food, the sooner you get back to studying.
11. Start hating your life and while you're stuffing yourself with chocolate cake, make a promise that next semester you'll study before the exam session actually comes.
12. Never keep the promise.

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